Dearest Mom_

You are the most incredible woman I know and I'm so happy and blessed to have you for my mother and my best friend.  When I was so down this week and you were there for me, just telling me over and over that you would do anything to help me, that was something I held onto and thinking about it made a difference.  When I closed my eyes I could see you saying that, the exact way you form the words and how you stand straight and how you look me so deeply in the eyes.  I can see it so well because you've said and done the same things so many times.  Wherever I go, there you are.

Recently, a parent I know was having a very hard time with his child.  In frustration, he said, "I'm just about ready to give up!"

I literally gasped.  It's not like I don't know I gave you a terrible time as a teenager and beyond.  I yelled at you and got angry with you and defied you and contradicted you...every bit of self loathing I felt I projected onto you and you never left me.  All I could think was:  "If my mom would have given up on me, I wouldn't be here at all."

It might sound melodramatic to someone else reading this, but you and I both know it's true.  When I was little, I remember being shy and always afraid of making a mistake at school.  In second grade, we had to bring home our math papers once a week for our mom's to sign.  One day, I forgot to bring home the papers.  I cried so hard I was choking.  I was classically inconsolable.  Then you took me by the shoulders and said, "Get a grip on yourself, Margaret."

You were kneeling down and looking me straight in the eye.  You told me you would fix this and I just needed to help you by staying calm while you did that.  I was sniffling but I know I was holding in the total hysterics because I wanted to see what you could possibly do.  You took a piece of Scotch Tape and signed your name on it.  (I've seen that signature so many times the letters swim in front of my eyes and I imagine I must be able to write like you but I can't-I've tried).  After you'd signed the tape, you took my Holly Hobby lunch box and put the tape on the lid.  You told me that when I went to school, I could put the tape on the math papers where you were supposed to sign and I would have that to show my teacher.  You also assured me that I wasn't doing anything wrong because I could bring the papers home that night and you'd look at them then. 

I can't imagine the tape that I rubbed with my sweaty hands all the way to school and then kept touching until I could put it on the papers ended up looking like a real signature, so I'm sure you arranged that with the teacher.

Who else's mom does anything so cool?  You taught me something that day-and so many since then-that I've never forgotten.  Sometimes moms have to be the bad guys-the homework enforcers, the "go to your room," the "I'm so disappointed in you."  The most important times, though, are those times like that one you gave me.  The thing that only a mom can give.  Those are the times when a mom says "I can fix this.  I love you so much that I won't let the world feel so badly this time.  This time, I'll show you that your mom can fix the really bad, scary stuff."  My sister and brothers feel the same way-when you do those things (because you still do, even though we're all grown up) it plants a seed inside that grows and is there even when you don't remember.  It's the thing that lets you always know you are loved, even if you can't quite figure it out at the moment.  You taught me to do that for my own kids sometimes, and when I see their eyes when they get a "save" from me like that, I know that's probably the most important thing I'll ever have and the most important thing I'll ever give.

When my son was born, the first thing I thought was "I'm so tired."  Then they put him into my arms and I thought "Oh, my God.  Who ever knew someone loves me this much?" 


I look at you and I think of all the times you've been so angry when you've thought someone's treated me poorly.  All the times you believed in me when it wasn't really the logical thing to do.  All the times you've literally saved me.  I'm filled with love but honest to goodness, there are times I think about you being my mom and I cry.  I cry because I know that every kid in the world deserves a mom like you, and hardly any kid gets one.

You've taught me to be a mom and a daughter and a sister and a friend.  When I've whined, you've told me to "oh, offer it up," (said with a weary sigh).  When I haven't believed anyone loved me, you've grabbed me and told me "so many people love you and you are such a good person.  Now get a hold of yourself."  You've made me laugh so hard I've wet my pants.  Through the sheer force of your will, there have been times when you've gotten me to do the right thing, even though at the time, I thought it was the dumbest thing I'd ever heard of.  You are the only person in the world who gives advice and then, if you don't follow it, tells you "I wish you'd listen to my advice sometimes..." as in "you're smart enough to know I'm always right so you must not have been listening." 

You were a "stay at home mom" who worked harder than any working woman I know.  You went back to college and graduated when I was 30 and pregnant-and you got all A's.  You started a whole new career instead of becoming one of the ladies who lunch.  You do so many good things and I never even know it until I find out from someone else.

I just think you're so fabulous, Mom, and I wanted you to know that when you gave me your "don't presume you know everything and stop forgetting how much your dad and I love you" speech on my worst Valentine's Day ever, it made me feel just enough stronger to finish up that day and to start the next one knowing I had to have the courage to do something different.  And I did.

You're just the best mom in the world and I love you so much, more and more every single day.