...Copeland, that is. Thanks for coming to Coffee Pause today to talk about the OWLS, which I now finally remember (seems like I've known it so many times and forgotten) stands for "Otsego Wildlife Legacy Society." I've heard about the group before and I knew it was concerned with conservation, but I had no idea that the OWLS have so many projects in the works. I also know that anyone who wants to find out more about the OWLS and their efforts in the works and goals for the future, can get in touch with a bunch of members: you, at Jay's, Larry Edwards, Paddy DuBois, to name a few that jump to mind.
This letter isn't so much about the OWLS, though. It's a letter to you, Mark, because you really touched me today and I was thankful to have your words and ideas to think about throughout the day...
What really struck me was your willingness to share your ideas for future projects, even asking what we thought and making comments about how the OWLS could get involved in efforts other Coffee Pauser's were expressing interest in. Lots of times, I find that a speaker representing a group has a really set agenda of what s/he will be sharing about the group. There's no interaction between the speaker and the audience...which brings me to the biggest reason I chose to write to you tonight.
I really liked you and admired your openness, not only as a representative of the OWLS, but a s a human being. I didn't feel like I was listening quietly to a speaker...I felt more like it was an interaction between the whole group. Maybe you were giving us some topics that were part of the conservation mission of the OWLS, but there was so much more than that. I spoke about my new business and this blog, all about writing letters, and we all started talking a bit about writing letters and what they mean and how special they are...that certainly had nothing to do with your topic, but you made a statement that will stick with me for a long time, I was so grateful to have this simple, yet powerful idea. You said, "there's a difference between communication and connection." Seven words you put together that say so, so much. It's about intention, to me, and you expressed that fabulously. You either choose to "shoot" an email at someone or "drop" them a note or "leave" a voice mail...those aren't words that have anything to do with connection. This letter isn't so much about the OWLS, though. It's a letter to you, Mark, because you really touched me today and I was thankful to have your words and ideas to think about throughout the day...
What really struck me was your willingness to share your ideas for future projects, even asking what we thought and making comments about how the OWLS could get involved in efforts other Coffee Pauser's were expressing interest in. Lots of times, I find that a speaker representing a group has a really set agenda of what s/he will be sharing about the group. There's no interaction between the speaker and the audience...which brings me to the biggest reason I chose to write to you tonight.
Mark, everyone who knows me how valuable I feel the dictionary definitions of words are. I like my paper dictionary but there are times when the cut and past is just too time saving...sorry, Dictionary, my friend. So check this out:
com·mu·ni·ca·tion
[kuh-myoo-ni-key-shuh
n] 
Show IPA –noun
2.
the imparting or interchange of thoughts, opinions, or information by speech, writing, or signs.
3.
something imparted, interchanged, or transmitted.
5.
passage, or an opportunity or means of passage, between places.
Yuck and I won't be using that word again if I can help it.
Yuck and I won't be using that word again if I can help it.
According to that definition-you "impart" or "act" or "process" and then you call that an "interchange," or even the "opportunity for an interchange"...that doesn't feel like any kind of interchange to me. No listen, absorb...nothing mutual. The speaker or writer is "doing" something to the recipient, even though the word is a noun, and really, I'm not so fond of what someone is doing to me in the name of communication. Did you see anything in there about listening. Once you said that short sentence, that word, communication, felt abrasive to me.
That was probably because it was clear that you thought connecting was the superior mode of true interchange.
Back to my definition obsession-try it an see where it leads you, Mark, because it seems like something that would resonate for you:
con·nec·tion
[kuh-nek-shuhn] Show IPA 1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
circle of friends or associates or a member of such a circle.
6.
association with or development of something observed, imagined, discussed, etc.: to make a connection between the smell of smoke and the presence of fire; I have a few thoughts in connection with your last remarks.
7.
contextual relation; context, as of a word.
Ok, Mark, those are only 7 of the 18 different definitions! Look at the difference! You were so right...these words aren't even comparable. Again, I'm grateful that you made this connection for me...I felt like a part of that sentence and I immediately internalized it. How many times can you say some one's had that immediate impact on you? Not often at all so when it does, I feel like we have to "catch" each other doing really, really cool things.
I loved those words, Mark, but I'm not sure if I love that more or your analogy about kayaking with your friend and telling him "don't let the boat go sideways and if it does, when you fall out, just stand up in the river." Sure enough, he quickly fell out and was hanging from a tree limb screaming to you about how he couldn't swim. "Stand up," you said and when he did, the water was only hip deep. You made that connection for me and that was the bomb, because I'm a little brain, um, not so great right now after leaving a career and launching another. You told us that this applies to life: when we think something is so insurmountable, we might just have to let go and stand up. I think God or the Universe or our spirits put you in my path today because those were two concepts I really needed to accept and internalize, implying them to my life instead of constantly giving good advice to my client and ignoring it in every way.
Starting this business, this blog-it's turning a dream into a reality and that's always scary. You know what you did, though? You explained two truly important things I needed to know that I didn't even know I needed to know.
I thank you for your open heart and for all of the great things you do with the OWLS, and I've got a feeling you so some other great stuff, too.
Call or email me about your ideas for the mentoring program, especially the part about getting a better website online. I think I could help you make that work and would love to do so.
Readers-Mark is the GM at Jay's Sporting Goods. Take the chance to go in there and meet him. It's worth it. In doing some informal research for my letter to you, Mark, I talked to not one single person who had a bad word to say about you-"just a good guy," was the general refrain. I like good guys. I like you and appreciate your style.
You're doing some really amazing stuff, and I've got a feeling you're doing it on purpose...or maybe people are just saying these cool things to get an in with your wife, working at the Spud. Let's face it, it would be understandable.
I like you, Mark, and I appreciate your contributions at Coffee Pause today as an OWL and, again, a stand up human being-I'll bet you don't tip over often, but when you do, you jump right up and stand up straight and tall.
Sincerely Yours
