Dear Polly, Robyn, Debbie, Mom, Molly, Diane, Josi and on and on-my sistahs-

It was so good to see comments from my sistahs about the vacuum and cleaning (or lack thereof) issue.  The best was seeing comments and getting emails from my sistahs! 

Polly is my dear, sweet brother Pat's wife.  My sister and I used to think he'd never get married because there could never be anyone who could deserve all that, let alone be smart enough to accept it.  Enter, Polly, stage right.  This is simple-before they even got married I told her she was my sister and she started calling us sistahs and we've loved each other ever since.  I'm blessed enough to share a relationship with my brother's wife that exists on a deep level, dare I say even spiritual at times.  No one needs to know exactly what I'm talking about.  Just that Polly is my sistah.

Robyn is my ex-husband's current wife.  She is amazing and if he wouldn't have married her, it's my sincere hope that our paths would have crossed one day and that we would have become friends.  We could each have chosen another path with one another...one that wouldn't have been good for anyone, especially our kids.  Instead, we chose to care for one another and I chose to value her for how well she treats my sons.  From there, we've talked and talked and I count her as a friend, one on my list of sistahs!

Then there's Debbie...what can I say?  Debbie is the sister of my ex-husband.  She is one of the most giving, caring, compassionate, empathetic people I know.  She's is a fabulous mother to Julia and Micah, my niece and nephew who I miss very much.  Debbie is funky and cool.  She makes beautiful pottery and amazing drawings and paintings.  At family functions, when discussions were heated, I could always count on Debbie to huddle with me and whisper our agreement, which was usually to laugh.  Since my divorce, Debbie and I haven't talked much and it has broken my heart on more than one occasion.  I recently saw her, though, and it was like no time had ever passed.  We hugged and told one another we'd missed each other and there we were, sistahs as always.  I hope to have more time with her and Rob and their kids who I love, every one of them.

Ladies, I think you can get a real clear picture of why my mom is my sistah from going back and reading the letter I wrote to her.  There's so much more but enough said.  Seriously.

Then there's Molly, the only sistah I have that I share parents with.  I can't explain my bond to her.  Sometimes I don't think she knows how amazing I think she is in every way.  When Molly comes up in conversation, I'm like one of those sicko mothers bragging about their children and living vicariously through their beauty and accomplishments.  It's not that though, I swear.  She's just so unfathomable, for lack of a better word, to me in every way.  She's beautiful inside and out and she is so strong; so true to herself.  Last year she had a baby and every incredible part of Molly now shines so brightly from within her like you can't believe.  It makes me warm just to be around her.  I love her and trust her and I'm proud of her and...there aren't anymore words.

Then there's Diane.  She's my ex-Mother-in-law.  When I was married to her son, I loved her like she was my own mom.  When her son and I got divorced, though, it was such a mess and everyone needed someone to blame; a place to point their anger like a loaded gun.  Diane and I did a good job of that but I must admit that I missed her.  Each of us has recently been brave enough to rekindle our relationship, and I can't tell you what it means to me to have her back as a sistah.

Josi's last because you always save the best for last.  There is no one like Josi.  She is so strong that I often have to get out of her way or she'll run me right over.  That same strength, though, is the strength that rescued me 100 times and 100 times more than that.  We raised our children together for a long time.  We told each other our deepest darkest secrets.  I remember her calling me when my lovely niece (honestly-she's gorgeous and the sweetest 13-year-old girl you could ever hope to meet) was colicky.  That word-colicky-never seems to cover what my niece was or what she did.  It was more like she was a tiny little military specialist sent on a search and destroy mission. At about two weeks of age, she started screaming like someone was sticking her with a pin or had her in thumb screws.  When I say screaming, I mean loud wailing; a grinding sound that took over your whole head, body, mind, common sense, etc.  No one could talk when she was awake because she was just so God awfully loud.

So one day, Josi called me sobbing.  I could hear my niece in the background at least three decibles above her usual pitch.  This is a kid we used to sit in front of a stereo speaker and blast music at and for whatever reason, that soothed her while it was happening, but not a second after the song ended.  I heard Josi's voice and I thought "she needs to be rescued."  I told her to put the baby in her crib and make sure she was safe, then get in the car and I'd be right over.  Turn up the radio as loud as you can.  When I got there, we hugged and sobbed for hours and hours, maybe just for the sheer joy of knowing we weren't going to have to do this alone (imagine what I thought of the first 3 months of my niece's life, being seven months pregnant as I was and unable to turn back.  Still, I already knew I'd have Josi.  There was never a doubt).

Then there are all of the times Josi saved me.  I can actually say with all sincerity and complete honesty in my heart and soul that my Josi saved my life more than once, and I'll never be able to give her anything that could sufficiently represent my deep, deep gratitude to her and love for her that will never go anywhere.  It's like a tattoo on my heart and I'm so happy I have it.

The thing with Josi, too, is that she and Brian (he's a real sistah baby but I won't do that to him-separate letter to him) never abandoned me, regardless of the state of my marriage.  The fact that they were the only people present at my wedding this summer other than immediate family should really say it all.  Josi is my sistah.

So, to all of you women and the many others I call sistahs, thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing your strengths and weaknesses with me, for making me laugh at the worst of times and for crying with me in the next breath.  I'm the luckiest woman on earth.  I've got these sistahs and a whole bunch more.

If you're a woman who's been too involved with men or your careers or motherhood or whatever to find sistahs, all I can tell you is "change and do it right now."  This is the best gift you can give to yourself and another woman, and the best example you can set for your daughters, nieces and any little girls who happen to be in your life.  Let them see you hugging and kissing and crying and laughing together so that they want that feeling, too.  Bless them with sistahs.

Who are your sistahs?  Or are you a woman who's still looking for them.  These women here and the many other sistahs I have really want to hear what you think and feel about sistahs.

My heart is filled with love and peace tonight.
Sincerely Yours